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LETTER XI.
Miss Clarissa Harlowe, To Miss Harlowe.
Saturday, July 29.
I repine not, my dear Sister, at the Severity you have been pleased to express in the Letter you favoured me with; because that Severity was accompanied with the grace I had petitioned for; and because the reproaches of mine own heart are stronger than any other person's reproaches can be: And yet I am not half so culpable as I am imagined to be: As would be allowed, if all the circumstances of my unhappy Story were known; and which I shall be ready to communicate to Mrs. Norton, if she be commissioned to enquire into them; or to you, my Sister, if you can have patience to hear them.
I remembred with a bleeding heart what day the 24th of July was. I began with the eve of it; and I passed the day itself---as it was fit I should pass it. Nor have I any comfort to give to my dear and ever-honoured Father and Mother, and to you, my Bella, but This---That, as it was the first unhappy Anniversary of my Birth, in all probability, it will be the last.
Believe me, my dear Sister, I say not this, merely to move compassion; but from the best grounds. And as, on that account, I think it of the highest importance to my peace of mind to obtain one further favour, I would chuse to owe to your intercession, as my Sister, the leave I beg, to address half a dozen lines (with the hope of having them answered as I wish) to either or to both my honoured Parents, to beg their Last Blessing.
This Blessing is all the favour I have now to ask: It is all I dare to ask: Yet am I afraid to rush at once, tho' by Letter, into the presence of either. And if I did not ask it, it might seem to be owing
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to stubbornness and want of duty, when my heart is all humility and penitence. Only, be so good as to embolden me to attempt this task---Write but this one line, "Clary Harlowe, you are at liberty to write as you desire." This will be enough---And shall, to my last hour be acknowleged as the greatest favour, by
Your truly penitent Sister,
Clarissa Harlowe.