LETTER XC.
Miss Howe, To Miss Clarissa Harlowe.
Sat. July 22.
My dearest Friend,
We are busy in preparing for our little journey and voyage: But I will be ill, I will be very ill, if I cannot hear you are better before I go.
Rogers greatly afflicted me, by telling me the bad way you are in. But now you have been able to hold a pen, and as your sense is strong and clear, I hope that the amusement you will receive from writing will make you better.
I dispatch this by an extraordinary way, that it may reach you time enough to move you to consider well before you absolutely decide upon the contents of mine of the 13th, on the subject of the two Misses
[Page 370]
Montague's visit to me; since, according to what you write, must I answer them.
In your last, you conclude very positively, that you will not be his. To be sure, he rather deserves an infamous death, than such a wife. But, as I really believe him innocent of the Arrest, and as all his family are such earnest pleaders, and will be guarantees, for him, I think the compliance with their entreaties, and his own, will be now the best step you can take; your own family remaining implacable, as I can assure you they do. He is a man of sense; and it is not impossible but he may make you a good Husband, and in time may become no bad man.
My Mother is entirely of my opinion: And on Friday, pursuant to a hint I gave you in my last, Mr. Hickman had a conference with the strange wretch: And tho' he liked not, by any means, his behaviour to himself; nor, indeed, had reason to do so; yet he is of opinion, that he is sincerely determined to marry you, if you will condescend to have him.
Perhaps Mr. Hickman may make you a private visit before we set out. If I may not attend you myself, I shall not be easy, except he does. And he will then give you an account of the admirable character the surprising wretch gave of you, and of the justice he does to your virtue.
He was as acknowleging to his relations, tho' to his own condemnation, as his two Cousins told me. All that he apprehends, as he said to Mr. Hickman, is, that if you go on exposing him, Wedlock itself will not wipe off the dishonour to both: And moreover, 'that you would ruin your constitution by your immoderate sorrow; and, by seeking death when you might avoid it, would not be able to escape it when you would wish to do so.'
So, my dearest friend, I charge you, if you can, to get over your aversion to this vile man. You may yet live to see many happy days, and be once more
[Page 371]
the delight of all your friends, neighbours, and acquaintance, as well as a stay, a comfort, and a blessing, to your Anna Howe.
I long to have your answer to mine of the 13th. Pray keep the messenger till it be ready. If he return on Monday night, it will be time enough for his affairs, and to find me come back from Colonel Ambrose's; who gives a ball on the anniversary of Mrs. Ambrose's birth and marriage, both in one. The gentry all round the neighbourhood are invited this time, on some good news they have received from Mrs. Ambrose's Brother the Governor.
My Mother promised the Colonel for me and herself, in my absence. I would fain have excused myself to her; and the rather, as I had exceptions on account of the day (a) [Footnote a: 1Kb]: But she is almost as young as her Daughter; and thinking it not so well to go without me, she told me, She could propose nothing that was agreeable to me. And having had a few sparring blows with each other very lately, I think I must comply. For I don't love jangling when I can help it; tho' I seldom make it my study to avoid the occasion, when it offers of itself. I don't know, if either were not a little afraid of the other, whether it would be possible that we could live together:---I, All my Father!---My Mamma---What?---All my Mother---What else should I say?
O my dear, how many things happen in this life to give us displeasure! How few to give us joy!---I am sure I shall have none on this occasion; since the true partner of my heart, the principal half of the one soul, that, it used to be said, animated The pair of friends, as we were called; You, my dear [who used to irradiate every Circle you set your foot into, and to give me real significance in a second place to yourself] cannot be there!---One hour of your company, my ever-instructive friend [I thirst for it!] how
[Page 372]
infinitely preferable would it be to me, to all the diversions and amusements with which our Sex are generally most delighted---Adieu, my dear!---
A. Howe.